Adoption Day -40
It’s been a tragic week. We lost our daughters. Actually, I lost my daughters would be more accurate since Brenda didn’t see them as daughters yet. Due to circumstance I won’t mention here now, the adoption agency removed the girls from our home.
I am devastated! It’s been a really terrible week. It’s not the end of the world, but I can see it just in the distance.
I am angry – at a few people and also at God for making or allowing this to happen.
Even though Jessica and Erika are not living with us any more, I still see them as my daughters. Now, I just have to trust that God is taking care of our daughters (His and mine) and He is a better father than I could have been. I will continue to pray for the girls every day of my life. I’ve cried so much the last couple days and will continue to do so.
In addition to grieving the loss of my daughters, I will have to work on marriage and family issues. Brenda is one of the people I am angry at – something I need to get over because this isn’t all her fault. I wish God would show me the good in this situation…..
Please pray for our family to mend relationships…..and please pray that Jessica and Erika end up in a loving Christian home that will love them as much as I do (and always will). Pray that God follows them wherever they go and that they continue to seek Him as a steady rock in any storms of life they have to endure.
Today, I went to see my mom and dad to talk. I listened to a CD on the way that had some hymns that really helped me. I also felt God was reminding me about Abraham and God telling him to sacrifice his only son – what that must have been like for Abraham – and that is like what I was asked to do. I am not Abraham. The people giving their opinions into our situation were not God. Yet, could God have allowed this to happen anyway? What does God make happen and what does He allow to happen? These are questions I’m struggling with now. I am hoping that God will restore my daughters to me in some miraculous way in the future.
